Monday, October 20, 2014

Journal October 20th

So it has been a interesting week slow at work not much going on. I am so happy I got a new phone had an amazing birthday and an even more amazing girlfriend. We went to fun spot for the first time and had a wonderful time. We went on rides and played games and I got to eat funnel cake for the first time which was awesome. It was the best birthday ever and now I have a new phone and its awesome.

How has your owner encouraged you to grow as a person?..... As a submissive?

My Mistress has taught me allot about my submission and about myself. She me make rules for me to learn better and to be better as a sub and a person.

As a submissive I am doing my best to be a good submissive sometimes I forget sometimes about certain rules. I do try to please my Mistress the best way I can and hope that she is happy with me in the end. As a submissive I enjoy pleasing my Miss every day and night and I am very happy she has chosen me to be hers.

Journal October 5th

So the past few weeks have been quite eventful and long it seemed like allot was going on even though it wasn’t much. First I got sick pretty bad and we met a nice new couple who are kinky like us. I was sick for a couple of days on and off coughing and stuff. I felt like crap and I thought it was never going to end. It seems that everything got mashed up into one big blur almost like it all happened in one night during a drunken moment in time. Lately I have been feeling that way allot and I wish I knew why almost like having a walking blackout of my days in and days out. Sometimes I would feel like I was loosing my mind or my sanity.

I don’t remember much about what happened over the past few weeks. I felt depressed and angry and tired like I am bipolar or something and it was driving me nuts. I hate blacking out and remembering things I feel like I am loosing control again like I did before and I don’t want to end up like that again. It has been a like a few years since I have been this bad something’s that seem small always end up being a big deal.

Anyways I have had a allot going on new room mates and such. Trying to get more work and stuff as far as other things are concerned. Other then that not really much else to tell.

Q & A for Mistress…

1.        What else would you like me to do to you during my time serving you in bed?
2.        What other things do you want to try on me as your pet?
3.        Why don’t you want to grab at me as much as you used too or talk with me?
4.        How can I be a better friend?

Monday, September 15, 2014

Q&A: "How do you feel about adding a third into your relationship? What worries or thoughts do you have on it?"

Adding a third to our relationship is a big step in our lives. There is allot that would change and allot that would not. Right now of course we aren’t ready for it being as we are still starting out with things in our lives such as getting settled and making plans for the future. In time we have been through so much both good and bad, and now adding a new face into the mitts of things is a new challenge that we wish to try out in time of course. Upon my last posting we had not decided weather to have a boy or a girl be our play pet for our home to share in our fun and love in our relationship and lives. As such now we have chosen a “Fem-boy” to be part of us and he’s a kind and new and gentle heart we can mold into or own taste and style of life.

There are some worries I have and some concerns but not many to my own surprise. One of my concerns is his distance from us and his lack of mental knowledge of the lifestyle. Although he is still learning to like certain things I have this overwhelming feeling that maybe he is more vanilla then kinky and I worry he may get in t deep and be hurt and not recover. Even though we are careful and always ask him to speak his mind I just hope he does so always so he is not holding back and gets hurt because he wishes to please more then speak of how he feels about a situation. Our boy may like to be “Feminine” but I am not sure if there is more in him then that or chastity to his liking. As for his distance I know in time that will or might change but my concern is for now he is far away and maybe far away for a good while. 

It will be hard to keep and eye on him and help him in certain ways because of how far he is and I worry we wont be able to keep up or help him in certain ways. His lack of knowledge in the lifestyle will of course change with time and training this I know and am aware of, but for some reason I cant shake a strange feeling that maybe he will only nudge a very little bit into kink life and not allot which is fine to me so long as we are all happy together.

Journal #2

 Journal: August 31, 2014

So this past month has been full of its ups and downs. Allots happened some I can remember some I can’t. It has been a while since I wrote a journal a long while. This month has been a long one it seems. We have had allot of uncertainty and allot of good happen as well. Between rent and bills me not getting enough hours at work and other stuff it seemed like we weren’t going to be able to keep our place or pay for things that and me and my girlfriend/partner decided to be full sub so allot has changed.

In this past month I have been in the hospital which was I nightmare in all aspects of the word. I have always hated hospitals since I was little I don’t think that will ever change about me. The hospital people never change either they always think that because they know more then you do that they know your body better then you do *snorts and huffs*. Anyways moving on, so they gave me some pills that I still can’t fill or get plus they all wouldn’t even listen to me even when I was upset and crying and stuff. Other then that my girlfriend/love/Minx had a birthday recently I love her so much we had some fun and did what we could then I wish I could of done more with her though it wasn’t fair that we couldn’t do much for her big day.

     Amongst all that’s happened I did manage to finally get some good hours at TMC recently but I also gained a new job as well. Soon I will be working for Dunkin Doughnuts which will be awesome and I will come home smelling good to “hehehe”. I can’t wait to get started there its going to be awesome and so much fun to do I think also I have worked in a bakery before so at least I am not going in there with out knowing some thing about what to do at this job. Of course I will still keep TMC for some extra side work so I can make some weekly cash as well as what I will make at Dunkin.

We also gained a caretaker surprisingly its Mack. We haven’t spoken to her a long time and she offered to be our caretaker being as me and my girl both agreed to be full sub most of the time. One thing that I don’t like about it is now we are going to be receiving maintenance spankings to keep us in line. Even though I know we do need them sometimes I still don’t like them at all. Me and Katie also discussed adding another person into our relationship as a play toy mainly someone we can handle and do what we want with for fun.

As far as picking what we want such as a boy or a girl well that is still on the fence. Both have advantages and fun prospects to them as well as potential to bring new opportunities for us to explore. A girl would be ideal for torture and spanking and fun for our dominate and primal sides to let loose and be free. A boy would also be good for that too but more fun to deny and torture in my opinion. They could clean and please us in so many ways plus it would make things easier on us to have the help around the house. They would of course need to work sometimes to and have to be clean and other stuff. As far as pleasure goes I think a house boy would be fun for certain things like anal and stuff and he would probably be less needy and jealous and eager to please compared to another girl. But we will decide when we are ready who knows this may open a new chapter in our lives we never expected to have opened and look forward to every second of adventure with my girl.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

My Journal Blog: "How do you see yourself in one year? Five years? Ten years? Why do you see yourself that way?"


                In one year I see myself with steady pay and no worries in our apartment with my beautiful girlfriend and our cat happy without stress of money and stuff. I also see us with a car finally and many fun new memories and photos to fill our walls and home to make it feel like home. New furniture and cable maybe and internet I see fun times and new friends and great new adventures ahead.

In five years I see us in our own house me s steady job and my girl too. A close home to family and friends whom are all to familiar and known to us. A big backyard and lots of room for our new dogs and us to grow as a couple. Maybe even a child or two to share our lives and love with. A swing set and slide for the kids and a family trip to the beach or a road trip to see the Grandparents. I see an RV to travel with every now and then and more adventures to be had and of course my girls hand in Marriage making her eternally mine.

In ten years I see our kids growing up asking us about certain embarrassing things in the moment. School plays and PTA meetings. My wife and I relaxing out back on our porch watching the stars at night while the kids make s'mores and dance to the music on my old boom box that my wife tells me to get rid of. Fishing trips I take with the kids and camp out under the stars with my family. Teaching the kids about whats right and whats wrong and helping them along the way. Scolding our parents for feeding them to much sugar or over spoiling them. Kissing my wife and listening to our kids say "Ewwwww". Tucking them in at night and reading them stories. Dancing in our socks in the kitchen as we all cook dinner together.

I have a feeling my future in the next few years after all the struggle and depression is gonna be great and miraculous filled with more love and happiness then anything in the world and I can't wait to experience it all with my girl at my side. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sunday, July 20, 2014


To my first post ever! I am not much of a blogger, but I figured I'd try it out and see what I can do. This blog is for the journey into BDSM I have been making. As I learn, and explore I'll blog and share my stories! Follow me and I'll follow you back!